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- 30 Apr 2008
- 04:49 pm
10 Things I Learned From 5 Months Of Meditation
In December 2007 I started meditating. A friend of mine had lent me some books about Buddhism. After reading them I was very eager to learn more. What attracted me most to Buddhism: 1) it is not a religion, it’s ‘merely’ a set of guidelines that help you in your search for happiness, 2) you learn by experience, it’s a way of living. Here are 10 things that I learned through 5 months of meditation.
1. Thoughts are not reality
I put this as the number 1 item on the list cause it had such a big impact on me. By doing meditation on a daily basis I learned to recognize thoughts for what they are: thoughts. Nothing more.
Looking back now, I spent an awful lot of time thinking about stuff that had happened in the past or about stuff that still had to happen. In the meantime I forgot to see the things that were happening now. Constantly I would be judging people, worrying about money, thinking about what others might be thinking… As a test: close your eyes and start counting your breaths from 1 to 10. Do this over and over and experience how many times you get ‘distracted’ by thoughts. That’s exactly what I mean.
Now, I’m not saying thoughts are a bad thing. I’m just saying that it’s a good thing to recognize which thoughts you need to be thinking about and which thoughts you don’t need to be thinking about. That alone makes your life a lot more pleasant.
2. Focus is important
Focus was generally not high on my agenda. If a great chance would come up I would want to grab it. No matter if I was already doing other stuff at that moment. I felt like I would be missing out on something if I didn’t grab all the chances that were thrown at me. But by wanting to experience everything I ended up being constantly focused on opportunities that I had missed out on. My life was not about what I was experiencing, it was about what I was not experiencing. Very tiring. By meditating I learned that doing one thing at a time is a good thing. Fully concentrating on whatever I’m doing is like a small meditation every time. Also being aware of why I’m doing what I’m doing helps a lot.
3. Media influence your view on the world
As I was examining which thoughts were going through my mind and what they were based on, I realized that many times I would fear or judge situations or groups of people that I had never experienced or met in real life. So where did I get these ideas about how they would be? Through the media. In all shapes and sizes. Newspapers, tv, radio, magazines, the web… I’m not saying that media are a bad thing. They can provide you with all sorts of useful information. But what kind of information do news programs usually provide? Bad things that are happening around the world. In Holland an edition of the biggest news program lasts for 20 minutes. Just imagine the impact if you would watch this show every day of your life, starting when you were a kid. A lot of people do. That must have an impact on your view of ‘how things are’.
Also advertising is a big influencer. The more ‘perfect’ the girls on the billboards look, the more dissatisfied young teens will be about their own looks. Nowadays I hardly watch any tv. Usually if something really interesting was on, friends will tell me about it and I’ll have a look at it on the web.
4. People are good
Instead of creating an image in my head of what a person is like by judging the looks and the movements, I now try to just see that other person as someone who has 3 basic things in common with me: 1) he or she is also human, we are the same species, 2) everyone is in search of happiness, 3) everyone is trying to avoid pain. Since I have that in common with all people around me, there’s a connection with everyone around me. By being aware of that connection it’s easier for me to start conversations with people that I don’t know.
By trying to be open I had the chance to meet some amazing people that I could help or just get to know briefly, like during a ride on the train. I used to have my doubts if all people were good. But if you stand on the street and you see someone crossing the road and nearly being hit by a bus, what is your first reaction? You scream: “Look out!” Or not? That would be your first response. You do this without thinking. Without thinking you want to prevent the pain of others. You want to help people. It’s just that thinking sometimes gets in the way.
5. Positive thinking is very powerful
If negative thoughts can influence the way you perceive the world in a negative way, then the opposite is also true. So the way to change ‘reality’ is just to start thinking positive thoughts about you and the world around you. It sounds too simple to be true. But it works. By repeating the sentences ‘I am love, I am perfect, I am you’ during my mediation, I created an image in my mind that everyone is perfect and everyone is love. I must admit that I had some difficulties starting with this exercise. It felt like a ‘girly’ thing. Me sitting down with my eyes closed while thinking ‘I am love’ was something that I thought was not me. Still, I decided to give it a shot and see what it would do for me. The results were amazing. After a while I noticed that the world around me looked more friendly and I noticed that I started to approach people in a very friendly and open way. By going through these experiences I could add visualizations of my experiences to the words ‘I am love, I am perfect, I am you’. Now I had ‘visual proof’ in my mind that showed me that I was indeed what I was thinking.
The thing is that the mind doesn’t make a difference between what you see ‘in the real world’ and what you see ‘in your head’. For instance: close your eyes and visualize a great dish that you would just love to have for diner tonight. If you really put yourself to it, you will start to notice that the amount of saliva in your mouth increases. Your body thinks the dish is actually there so it starts to produce the saliva. This means that your mind doesn’t make a difference between reality and visualized images. Do you see the power of this?
6. Mistakes are good
For me life was, and sometimes still is, about having success. About competing and winning. As a child I would get very upset if I wouldn’t win a simple family game. Instead of enjoying the game itself I would be focused on the winning. Not winning meant no joy to me. Meditation is all about experiencing ‘now’. Experiencing the moment. You can’t do anything about the past and you can’t control tomorrow. The only thing you can do is try to make the best of now. That also means that you’re enjoying a game as you play it. Doing your best while playing it, but not focusing on the outcome. It’s an experience. As is every moment. This means that losing or making mistakes are also experiences. They teach you something.
For instance, as I look back on the relationships that I’ve had till now then I am glad that everything went as it did. Each relationship taught me something. But back then I had great pain for a long time when a relationship ended. It felt like I had failed. Now I realize that the main reason I felt that way was that I had an image in mind of what a perfect relationship was like. Not living up to that image meant ‘failure’ to me and failure meant that I had made mistakes and mistakes are bad. But what if you turn mistakes into something good? Something that you can learn from. Then it’s much easier to accept the things as they are.
7. There’s too much stuff
Living in the moment means that you try to make the best out of each moment. As I started to realize this, I also realized how much time I was spending on buying stuff, looking for stuff, talking about stuff, maintaining stuff, replacing stuff, worrying about stuff. For instance: I spent 6 months on finding a good used car. Then when I bought it, I had to arrange an insurance, pay taxes, arrange a parking garage, have it looked after by a mechanic. I also started worrying if it would get stolen or damaged. After 8 months I sold the car again. It was a relief. This experience led me to getting rid of all the stuff that I didn’t need. Each time I sold or gave away something that didn’t really matter it felt so good. Space. There’s space in my room now. There used to be piles of stuff. Space makes me much happier than piles. Each time I buy something now, I first ask myself if I really need it. Most of the time the answer is no.
8. Listen to your body
Meditation learned me that it is important to listen to your body. In the beginning, while sitting on the ground with crossed legs, I noticed that I started to feel all sorts of small pains in my body during meditation. Perhaps these pains had always been there. I don’t know. But while sitting down and concentrating on my breath, they became very clear. It might sound strange, but I think pain is a good thing. It’s the way your body tells you: “There’s something wrong here. Take a look at it.” By constantly making minor changes in my meditation position I started to notice what my body wanted. The pain ‘told’ me how to sit down. I’m meditating for 5 months now and I still haven’t found the perfect position but I feel that my posture has improved a lot. That feeling is great. It tells me that I’m slowly getting rid of all the bad habits that I got used to. Besides the right posture your body also tells you when to eat, when to go to sleep, when to take it easy… All kinds of signals that I would just ignore 5 months ago. But that I am very aware of now.
9. Helping others is what counts
Meditation helps you to reach happiness. Other people are also striving to find that. Not all know how. So that’s also one of the main reasons for me to write articles like these. To make people aware of the great things that meditation can do for you. To inspire people to help themselves and others.
Fresh Creation is about helping people with creative minds. Showing them what’s possible. What people are capable of. If you make a habit out of helping people you’ll find out that it becomes your second nature. Besides that you’ll find out that putting a smile on someone’s face is the ultimate reward. ;-)
A while back I helped out a man that was standing in front of the train station in Amsterdam. Everyone ignored him while it was clear that he was asking something. So I stopped and listened to his question: “Could you help me carry the bags to the station? I’m just too tired to carry them on my own.” I picked up one of the bags and started walking to the station with him. It turned out he had just bought loads of books and had to catch the same train as me. He was so happy that I helped him. He’d been standing there for 15 minutes with nobody stopping. He bought me something to drink. I helped him put the bags in the train and, as I arrived at my destination, he offered me one of his books.
10. Being honest
With a clear mind you start to think clearly. You feel in control of your life again. Each moment it is you who decides what to do or say. Sometimes though, there are still situations from the past that haunt you. With me that was the case too. Certain people and situations were still in my head and I kept thinking about how I responded in those situations. Sometimes I was angry, sometimes hurt, sometimes sad. To put an end to this I decided to talk to those people. Tell them what had been bothering me. This gave me a lot of rest. Making the appointments was hard. But I’m glad I did it. Sometimes people simply denied situations that had been bothering me, sometimes they said they were sorry and sometimes I realized that I was the one who had to say sorry or just had to accept situations as they were. As hard as it was to have these conversations, I’m glad I had them. My mind is at ease now. A lot less unnecessary thinking going on. Mostly thoughts that I want to think.
Final remark: I hope you understand that the list above is not a complete list. But these were the main things that popped into my head as I started writing this article. Don’t think of me as an expert. I still have a long way to go in the meditation process. The list above is just an overview of some of the things I learned. I hope this article will give you enough motivation to try it for yourself so you can experience what it can do for you.
Many thanks to the people that told me about meditation.
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- Matthieu Ricard - Habits Of Happiness
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- 5 Things I Learned From 5 Months Without Media
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Briliant - been meditating for about five years - " presence , being , living in the eternal now , embracing deep light conciouceness ! " mindfullness , thanks for your insperational thought .
Posted by: osmosis on 30 Apr 2008 | 08:10 pm
Good article! Enjoyed reading it.
(and I'm glad I lent you zenmaster Steve Hagen's book last year! ;-))
Posted by: Robin on 30 Apr 2008 | 08:41 pm
When you meditate, you usually do it at night, during the morning or at another time of the day?
Posted by: Bruno Miguel on 30 Apr 2008 | 09:01 pm
Bruno - i am no expert , meditation can be done at any time , although if you can do it early in the morning before your day starts , it will empty you off all the thoughts that are getting in the way - making your day awesome ! ( hope this helps , find a quiet spot , breathe in the bullshit in your mind , release it by breathing out - enjoy )
Posted by: osmosis on 30 Apr 2008 | 09:26 pm
Good article, I enjoyed it. I haven't meditated properly in decades but I used to try it when I was a kid. I especially like the part about the positive/negative outlook - it took me a very long time to realize that this really is true, but most people just discount this type of thinking.
I will try meditating again soon, and see how it goes!
Posted by: frank on 30 Apr 2008 | 10:30 pm
Hey it was unexpected but nice to see this post in your blog. I really appreciate you sharing your experiences. I've been thinking I should try doing meditation again for a while now but this post is just what I needed to convince me that now's the right time. Thx.
Posted by: grant on 01 May 2008 | 08:04 am
@osmosis: welcome... glad you liked it! ;-)
@robin: Thnx. Also for lending me the book back then. Now you see what small things can lead to. :-)
@bruno: I meditate in the morning and just before I go to sleep. Normally I would meditate after I finished breakfast but I heard that meditating immediately after getting up has more effect. So I'm going to try that for a while. Hope this helps.
@frank + grant: Great to hear that you're going to give meditation a try. :-) Try to do it for at least 30 days at a specific time during the day, preferrably early in the morning or just before going to bed, and write down the things that you notice. I'm saying '30 days' because some people find it hard to commit to something 'for life'. A 30-day-commitment is much easier and you can still decide by then what you're going to do, but the advantage is that you have gotten used to the rhythm and that you already noticed what it can do for you in 1 month. Success and it would be nice if you could let me know what it has done for you after 30 days.
Posted by: Fresh Creation on 01 May 2008 | 09:49 am
Hi - this is great - very insperational - i wish you all " deep light consciousness " you will find yourself thinking from a much higher plain where ideas , thought will grow like flowers after the rain , uninhibeted by the mind ! "
ps : awesome blog baie dankie .
Posted by: osmosis on 01 May 2008 | 10:39 am
nice article! i have started meditating two months ago, and i'm really glad i did. i used to connect to people in a negative way, and that's what came back. since i'm meditating that has changed, i'm going into a conversation more positively, and positive feelings are coming back.
for all of you wanting to try meditating yourself, audiodharma has a great introduction to mindful meditation, besides other great stuff worth checking out!
http://www.audiodharma.org/talks-intromed.html
enjoy!
Posted by: meditator on 01 May 2008 | 02:39 pm
@meditator: Thanks for adding the link. Very interesting stuff! I'm going to download the lectures and put them on my mobile so I can listen to them while traveling by train. Thnx!
Posted by: Fresh Creation on 01 May 2008 | 03:49 pm
I came to your post through reddit, and I'm glad I did. You do buddhism proud by your clear and thoughtful analysis of the benefits you've gained through meditation. I've come to many of the same realizations that you've listed here.
Right now I'm especially interested in #5 - positive thinking. What you said about your mind not knowing the difference between what is in 'the real world' and 'in your head' is so true. It reminded me of the visualization techniques that athletes and musicians use to increase their performance. I teach piano to kids, and I'm going to start incorporating a little visualization into their practice routines. Thanks for a great reminder of all these ideas, it's nice to hear.
Posted by: jenny on 01 May 2008 | 05:07 pm
Two books to change your life :
" THE POWER OF NOW " Eckhart Tolle
" Still the Mind " Alan Watts
Blessings of abundance 2u all !
Posted by: osmosis on 01 May 2008 | 05:45 pm
This free, advertisement-free meditation tutorial has been online since the early 90's. http://www.alternative-medicine.net/
Posted by: Free Meditation Tutorial on 01 May 2008 | 05:49 pm
I think it is an insult to Buddhism to say "it is not a religion". This mindset is rooted in the ethnocentric belief that if a religion does not have an omniscient personal God, it is not a religion.
Most Americans sanitize Buddhism to make it nothing more than a relaxation technique to relieve the internal chaos of American way of life, rather than what it is intended as. Buddhism is a strict ascetic tradition aimed at crushing the ego-grasping that results in an endless series of torturous reincarnations in the six realms.
Do you know anything about the symbolism or mythology inherent to Buddhism? Did you know Buddhists believe in "six realms" of existence, including two hells, the animal realm, the human realm, and two heavens? Did you know that the Buddhists believe the "person" (not Soul) transmigrates from life to life in these realms?
Have you ever looked at the nuances of the philosophical doctrines that underlie Buddhism, or how the various schools of Buddhism interpret these doctrines? (Anatman, in sanksrit).
Did you know there are "precepts" Buddhists take, that are not unlike the ten commandments? Buddhism is NOT an "anything goes" religion, devoid of moral content. The precepts include refraining from killing (which most traditional Buddhist interpret as being a vegetarian), refraining from lying, refraining from stealing, refraining from sexual misconduct, and abstaining from intoxicants.
In short, I think you are doing yourself and Buddhism a huge disservice to simplify it to a relaxation technique to help with mundane personal development rather than a means to a transcendental end.
Posted by: Esoteric on 01 May 2008 | 08:46 pm
@Esoteric: As I said in the article, I am not an expert.
The article is an overview of experiences that I've had that were the result of meditation. The aim of the article is to inspire people. I'm not going to discuss if Buddhism is a religion or not. There are different views on that and I don't claim to know 'the truth'. I only know what I've read in books.
Let's not get into a discussion about definitions here. You seem to have other information/views than me. I respect that.
Posted by: Fresh Creation on 01 May 2008 | 09:26 pm
@Esoteric: To paraphrase the Dalai Lama- don't practice buddhism to become a better buddhist, practice buddhism to become a better whatever you already are. I think that the kind of attitude you show an example of above is by far more incongruent with buddhist teachings than being ignorant of some petty philosophical distinctions. Any path leading to a more enlightened state is an acceptable one. It may be that people caught up in the american way of life are actually those most in need of hearing about experiences other people have had with other ways of life and alternative ways of dealing with existence. What category those experiences belong to and how we label them is, at least in my opinion, completely uninteresting.
Posted by: Maox on 01 May 2008 | 09:28 pm
awesome article sir!!!
i started weeping reading it!!!
might well be a life changing article!!
Posted by: alan on 01 May 2008 | 09:48 pm
thanks for writing your thoughts. ive been tryin to get myself to start meditating, but cant seem to clear space in my day. im not really even that busy. its just hard for me to tell myself, "ok, sit, think, do nothing." it isnt really nothing, but it is.... you know? any tips on when to meditate, or how to start?
Posted by: david on 01 May 2008 | 10:11 pm
Hi David - ok - it's not that complicated , find a quite place early in the morning or within a half hour of waking up , sit cross leggad , posture as straight as possible , link your hands , close your eyes , breathe deeplt in out in out - tailling off to gentler breaths - there will be lots of thoughts at first - let them be - after about 15 minutes open your eyes - don't get up immediately - spend about two minutes familiarizing yourself - enjoy !
Posted by: osmosis on 01 May 2008 | 10:25 pm
@Esoteric thread (Esoteric, Maox, Fresh Creation):
I think there is a fundamental level of perception difference between the "experts" who see the need for tried-and-true discipline and the "nonexperts" who cherrypick and take away what they feel they can gain from Buddhism.
I think it's a tough call to say which is better, given the struggle to not reinvent the wheel again, versus those who don't see value in the wheel at all. I don't think such religious reinterpretation as an "insult" -- a reinterpretation loses the traditional trappings and expectations, which is good in the concept of "no self" (anatman). ...And sure, they often times lose their traditional trappings and sensibilities, that the point perhaps is not about fulfilling your desires by being above them -- because that is difficult to sustain as we are but human -- but rather to get rid of desires altogether, renounce indulgences and pleasures, and escape the cycle... which, oh, doesn't sound super appealing to a lot of people. :)
So my question: is "any path leading to a more enlightened state an acceptable one" -- if, say, that the peak of that enlightened state is perhaps a local peak in our lives, versus what Buddhism claims as a global peak of transcendence?
Posted by: JC on 01 May 2008 | 10:29 pm
Great Post!! thanks alot! I have been reading alot about Buddhism and meditating lately and this is a post thats going straight to my del.icio.us toolbar!! :)
Posted by: Beyond Random on 01 May 2008 | 10:48 pm
I stumbled here, and I really enjoyed your post. Thank you for showing me that meditation can be something I think I can try.
Posted by: Gwen on 02 May 2008 | 12:19 am
Great summary of the benefits of developing a meditation practice. I started meditating a little over two years ago and the practice has been life changing in many ways. You might want to consider a silent meditation retreat next of 3-5 days next. It's amazing what happens when you strip away all the distractions/stimulations of daily life and make meditation your "work" for an extended length of time. Namaste.
Posted by: jodene on 02 May 2008 | 03:15 am
Within the various Buddhist 'schools' there are many differences. I am not an expert, but feel myself attracted to zenbuddhism mostly, since it's all about living in the here and now with full attention and understaning how the ego works through meditation. Correct me if I'm wrong, but all the 'traditions', as well as the whole 'reincarnaton' thing, seem to be of less importance in zenbuddhism.
Posted by: Robin on 02 May 2008 | 12:43 pm
I enjoyed reading your post - just stumbled it. I'll be back to read more. I have just started meditation myself, and started a blog to both report on my life transition, as well as to further learn the lessons. Meditation is key, I think, and your post does it service. As a corollary, and pertinent to your site, starting Monday I'm starting a five part series on Creative Intelligence at i-sorcerer. I think you'd find the whole subject of creativity as innate to be worth a read.
Cory
Posted by: Cory on 02 May 2008 | 02:20 pm
i dont like "4", some people do not want to be happy and some people like pain, its all what theyve embraced
Posted by: ed on 03 May 2008 | 09:35 pm
Great article. I've been trying to get into a more dedicated meditation routine for years but I find it difficult. This article is the spur that I needed to give it another go - and especially your comment about taking it as a 30 day commitment to begin with. A great book that I came across concerning meditation and the development of your soul is "The Art of Tibetan Living" by Christopher Hansard. Thanks
Posted by: Distance on 04 May 2008 | 01:23 am
@alan: Thanks... I hope the article is of help to you.
@david: Just commit yourself to it for 30 days. Then the decision is not that hard and you can still decide after your first 30 days. Here's some great [url=http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/04/30-days-to-success/]extra advice[/url] on that.
@Gwen: You 'think' you can try? I'm sure you can. :-)
@jodene: Thanks for the tip. Sounds interesting.
@Cory: Feel free to mail interesting articles to me.
@Distance: Good to hear that you want to give it a try. Commit yourself for 30 days and then look back on you achievements.
Thanks for poiting out the book by Christopher Hansard. I added it to my list.
Posted by: Fresh Creation on 04 May 2008 | 03:37 pm
Last year I read about, studied and practiced meditation for my senior project, and though none of my readings or interviews directly said this, I came up with this exact idea you did.
"Fully concentrating on whatever I’m doing is like a small meditation every time."
Reading this was a refreshing reminder of all the things I learned, and I should get back to regular meditation :)
Posted by: mac on 05 May 2008 | 09:38 am
@ed: people who want to be in pain are a little 'off track' if you ask me! ;-)
I think it has been well researched and documented that all living beings want to avoid pain and suffering.
Posted by: Starbuck on 05 May 2008 | 11:38 am
I love it! Should you be interested, 1, 3, and 5 also have a Christian foundation in Philippians 4:8 which is the subject of The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry.
Posted by: deeper on 06 May 2008 | 12:59 am
I really liked this 10 rules. please continue to reply me. I am interested to read article like this. I am a Transactional Analysis Study group member. All these rules applicable to me.Thanking you, Yours,
VRVRAO
Posted by: v.raghavendrarao on 12 May 2008 | 02:03 pm
@mac: And? Did you start with meditating (again) yet?
@ deeper: Thnx for the extra info.
@vrvrao: Good to hear you like the article... And you're welcome ;-)
Posted by: Fresh Creation on 12 May 2008 | 02:52 pm
i'll be going to spirit rock meditation center here in northern california sometime this summer, as well as doing breathing meditations here and there. so yes, a little :)
Posted by: mac on 13 May 2008 | 02:59 pm
@mac: The main thing is to turn meditation into a daily routine.
Posted by: Fresh Creation on 13 May 2008 | 08:02 pm
you suffered from anxiety?? I am not a Dr. I had anxiety and our thoughts are similar. Thanks to your article i am going to practice mediation more. I loved yoga so if i can meditate i am sure i will love that too.
Thanks
Posted by: clean on 23 May 2008 | 04:17 am
@clean: No, I didn't suffer from anxiety. At least, as far as I know. ;-) Great to hear that you will start meditating soon. I'm sure you'll love it.
Posted by: Fresh Creation on 23 May 2008 | 05:04 pm
it is such a wonderful blog, you made here and thank you so much for sharing your ideas and thoughts honestly. very inspiring and exciting to read. and helpful for me in this moment. thank you for helping me to understand some issues these morning. looking forward to read more about.
Posted by: twelvetwentynine on 22 Sep 2009 | 10:07 am
Thank you for sharing your experience with meditation.
I think that learning the nature of how our thoughts affect our lives and the lives of others can help better not only our selves, but the state of our world and humankind.
Just a thought...
;)
Posted by: caroline on 23 Sep 2009 | 04:46 pm
I came accross your article by chance. It was very inspiring:) Thanks!
Posted by: a. on 19 Oct 2009 | 08:38 am
Thanks to who wrote this article and also to the guy who sent the audiodharma link.
Posted by: Ed on 21 Nov 2009 | 02:49 pm
I'm Thai and became a buddhist since I was born, but is nothing than having "buddhism" word printed on my ID card. In the school, learning and believing in buddhism is nothing than memories in my head. Until I began practicing durring one month of monkhood, I truely knew how buddhism can help. Since then, my attitude of living changed - My live is simpler and all incoming pain is shortened :)
Thank you for inspiring people.
Posted by: Monchai on 31 Dec 2009 | 04:49 am
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